Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, grit my teeth, stomp my feet, and just be mad.
I guess you could call that an “adult” tantrum. There are days I wake up in the attitude of “whoa me” and “it’s not fair”. I guess you can consider it pouting.
You could also consider this a “PIT” – a personally intense trial. I have been reading all about this right now in a book I picked up awhile back. Sharing more on that later, but if interested now it’s called Wait and See: Finding Peace in God’s Pauses and Plans.
I just get mad at the world, mad at my situation and mad in general. You know that mad where you don’t even know why you are mad but you just want to cry a good mad cry to some Alanis Morissette and just wallow in your own sorrow. It is all internal. Typically you would never know I am feeling this way. I try not to let it effect me that way – visibly. It’s almost as if I am screaming on the inside.
Many times when I feel like this, I feel alone. I feel like no one understands, no one gets it or would even begin to understand if I tried to explain how I felt. The times when I do I want to talk with a girlfriend and even though they may be a best friend, they wouldn’t understand the magnitude of my emotion that I feel.
Same thing with my husband. You want to share it with them but they won’t get it, even if they say they do, they really don’t. Women’s hormones alone are something men don’t get, so why would they understand your “mad cry” session you just had. I recently was talking with another mom who’s little one is having issues and she said a similar thing. Something along the lines of – “I’m just plain mad. Just let me be angry in my situation. Dad’s don’t get it.”
Whatever life brings you sometimes it makes you feel that way. Toddlers get to throw their fits when things don’t go their way, why can’t we?
One thing I know is that I am not ANGRY with my situation and not ANGRY with God. Knowing how to handle where the grief and the frustration should lie has been an easy one for me. I have never blamed God when I am in a PIT or one of these moods.
Whatever hard thing you are facing in life right now, it is not happening to you. it is happening for you!
ROMANS 5:3 STATES “WE CAN REJOICE, TOO, WHEN WE RUN INTO PROBLEMS AND TRIALS, FOR WE KNOW THAT THEY HELP US DEVELOP ENDURANCE.”
I think this “madness” we feel sometimes is trying to test our faith. But here is what the Bible states about that!!
“FOR YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOUR FAITH IS TESTED, YOUR ENDURANCE HAS A CHANCE TO GROW. SO LET IT GROW, FOR WHEN YOUR ENDURANCE IS FULLY DEVELOPED, YOU WILL BE PERFECT AND COMPLETE, NEEDING NOTHING.” -JAMES 1:3-4
So I say be mad on OCCASSION, when life calls for it! Don’t walk around being a Grumpy Gus, nobody likes that. BUT, have that “cry fest” in the car full of Alanis, Sheryl Crow and Avril Lavigne. If you ask me, that’s a dang good concert you are putting on and I would buy a ticket.- Just saying!
Don’t however be ANGRY. The bible states to be slow to anger, and although the definition of “Mad” is – Very Angry, I don’t feel they are the same! I think there is a an emotional difference between the two.
Anger, I picture the red little dude of Inside Out. It stays deep in you and lingers and sits on your soul to make you bitter and jealous. Those are things I am not. I know I am blessed with a wonderful life and family. I’m so thankful for my husband and my kids. Just sometimes that season I am going through can make me feel “mad in the moment” because I don’t understand it.
So be MAD IN THE MOMENT, but not at anyone, especially God. Remember it is not happening TO YOU, its Happening FOR YOU! This trial, season and time in your life is building your endurance which will help you become complete and perfect. Sounds pretty promising to me!
Know you are not alone. Although you think those best friends, family members and man in your life doesn’t get it or understand how you feel, know that I do!
