I read somewhere once that hopes are healthier than expectations. I feel what lies at the end of a hope is greater than the end point of an expectation. What I mean by that is hopes are what keep us dreaming. At the end of my hope is usually a prayer. A prayer that God hears my hope and fulfills my desire with the promises he offers.
Our desires and hopes are something that God knows all too well. I say it like that because sometimes being human we can desire things that are forbidden, frowned upon, or even vindictive. Thank Goodness he forgives our sins because we are all sin even in the smallest aspect. Speaking the truth here people!
Come on…we all have once or twice secretly “hoped” and wished that the person who cut you off at that red light gets what they deserve. Or you secretively hope that the person that got the promotion over you, falls flat on their face and the company realizes they made a mistake not putting you in that position instead! It’s human nature…we have all done it. Now do we mean it when we “hope” for those things, hopefully not!
But that is where the line lies. Their is such a fine line between, our hopes, desires, wishes and expectations.
Hope is something that comes as a positive feeling. It’s in you and it goes hand and hand with your desires you have for yourself, your family and your future. Expectation is similar and it deals with your desires but also depends on others in order to have them met. Have you ever thought about how Hope is always associated with a positive aspect or feeling? Typically when you think of expectations it has disappointment attached to it.
If you were to describe HOPE to your child, what definition would you give? Is it a positive one? More than likely. What about expectations? When talking with your child you tell them all the time, “I expect you do to ______ …” If they don’t do as you expect…what is the outcome…what lies at the end of that expectation?
Punishment, Disappointment and possibly Frustration. To be honest the word expectation leaves a yucky taste in my mouth.
Both HOPE & EXPECTATIONS are experienced by everyone. When a hope doesn’t become a reality there is no one to blame at the end of it, so you are left with the possibility of hoping again. With expectations blaming is the outcome. Fingers are pointed at who didn’t deliver and a negative outlook is presented on the situation or the person. Or at least that is what we 9 out 10 times focus on…the negative that the expectation wasn’t met.
I have had people tell me all the time…lose or lower your expectations and you won’t have any issues! Typically we “expect the worst, and hope for the best.” Through expectations we demand exactly what we want to take place regardless of what we know may actual happen. Several times though expectation is limited to our previous instances. We can’t expect something better than what we already know. Expectations can be a limitation to us. It can influence our attitude towards someone or our behavior throughout life.
Have you ever known someone who is just a Negative Nancy? I would like to know the story behind some of those people. If their expectations are continuously never met, no wonder they have such a negative outlook on life. That is all they focus on. It’s all they know to expect! I think many times those people are lacking the hope. They lack the faith that is behind the hope. Having Faith = Having Hope.
Expectations have an ending, Hope never resigns.
Think of it this way…If you have been let down and disappointed by someone or something, you lose all expectations for them because they weren’t met, you expect less or nothing from them the next time. So you lose the expectation but what does that leave you with..? It leaves you with HOPE! Don’t focus on your expectations being lost. Focus on what you are left with. The “hoping” they would change, “hoping” you won’t be let down or disappointed again, “hoping” next time you get the promotion. So the HOPE is still going in that maybe just maybe something will give.
So what if we did “lose” our expectations? We wouldn’t be attached to an outcome of a situation which can leave you either A) Joyful or B) Disappointed. So all you would have left was to be HOPEFUL of all things that come your way. If you never start out expecting something, or putting that limitation of expectation on someone you are always hoping and never expecting.
Do you remember what I said was at the end of every hope…a prayer. So keep your faith, have hope and lose your expectations because that leads to praying. A prayer to God that his promises will shine through and his work will be done in you. Changing your heart, changing your perception, and changing those expectations which are limitations to something that can bring you closer to God instead.
With Claire and our family dynamic loss of expectation has worked for us. Expecting Claire to do what other children can when they are supposed to left us upset and disappointed. So instead of expecting things to be like that we remove those limitations of what we know should be happening, and have hope they will be like that at some point. We don’t expect her to do it now, but know with prayer and faith she will.
Losing your expectations makes room for something greater, more hop
